With every accomplishment of passing to the next grade or receiving an award for an achievement, I remember my parents with tears in their eyes. I never understood why they seemed so sad, I only remember them saying, "You will understand one day when you are a parent." They were right.
My heart feels heavy and full with happiness, pride, and also sadness. I never knew watching my daughter grow up would be so beautiful and tragic all at the same time. I could never have imagined how fulfilling it would be to pass life's experiences on to another human being. Of course it was fun to start playing the games I loved as a child, as well as buying the toys I once adored, but passing knowledge to my daughter is proving to be the most amazing and rewarding thing I've ever done. It's hard to watch her work on her letters and numbers and try to muffle the crack in my voice and hide the tears.
Soon she will be in Montessori and I will have to come to terms that she will learn new things from a teacher, her friends, and the world. I'm positive that's the scariest thing I've ever thought of...EVER. It has been a very bittersweet night for this mama.