Monday, February 27, 2012

Friends and friendships are two totally different things.

In my youth, I used to believe it was near impossible to be friends with girls.  We're moody, unreasonable and mostly annoying if we aren't on the same wave length.  What I didn't realize, is that being young and hormonal causes most of those problems.  Not saying hormones aren't a factor as we get older, but I believe maturity helps deter us from bad people and steer us towards healthy relationships, without sabotaging them with our petty crap.

I'm gonna provide a little back story, so you can all understand how grateful I am for the women in my life today.  It's a longer read, but I feel to do these women justice for how wonderful they are, I need to explain my history of friendships with girls, not women.

Being friends with girls in school was always hit and miss with me.  At least the first friend I made was a complete hit.  I met my best friend, Anita, in Kindergarten and 22 years later, we are still bestie bests.  She knows more about me than anyone, even my husband.  How couldn't she, when she remembers some of the shit I did, that I don't even remember until she reminds me!  Life was grand through elementary school with her.  Even when the other girls hated us for being so close, we wouldn't let anyone come between us.  We didn't need anyone else.  Then life happened, and she had to move.  I was headed into middle school without her.  (Scream appropriate expletive here.)  Having this long standing relationship with her, even when we didn't see each other every day, provided me hope that friendships and relationships could withstand time and distance. 

6th grade in a Denver school, was a whole different story.  I knew a few people that were going to be there, but the thought of nearly starting over was terrifying.  I did not fit in at this school.  I did not have the same attitude or confidence in myself that I do now.  I was meek, quiet, and didn't know my place in the world yet.  I still held my mother's hand in public places for fucks sake.  I was innocent, and the girls there were nothing of the sort.  It was a whole different world, and I stuck out like a lamb among the wolves, and they knew it.  I was easy prey.  My life was hell for that year.  I hated it there and the few friends I did have, were the only way I made it through that horrendous year of bullying.  I begged my mom to move me into a new school.  She put me into a Jeffco school so I could be with my cousin.

Time to start over again.  This time was better.  I still knew I was out of place, but now I had the common sense to stand my ground from the beginning.  Fake it til you make it, right?  I made some awesome friends.  Some of them I still talk to through Facebook.  If it weren't for the social media age, I wouldn't have that luxury though.  It's hard keeping friendships and things in common with people when years have gone by and you haven't seen them face to face.  It's not a bad thing, it's just life. 

Some of those friends flowed over into high school with me.  A lot of the friends I have now are from high school and we didn't even spend much time together back then.  Weird, but totally worth it.  I'll get back to this later. 

High school was a strange time.  A lot of it was spent fighting with the girlfriends I did have.  I don't even know why we fought so much.  There were always sides to be chosen and it was more than likely over a boy.  Typical bullshit and those hormones I told you about.  The ones that outgrew that shit are actually pretty amazing women now.  Most of us are married and/or mothers, and we all found a way to grow up and not hate each other for all the stupid drama back then. 

What I've found though, is that there are some people that come into your life unexpectedly and show you what true, unconditional friendship is.  You find most of these friendships along your adult path, through the things you have in common on a more personal level.  It's not just a friendship based on what home room you share or what guy you want to date.  It's much deeper than that.  I read an article about how the best thing a man can do for his health is marry a woman.  Basically, have a best friend that he could share his feelings with.  Not hunting, sports, or sex talk.  Real talk, feelings.  The best thing a woman can do is grow healthy friendships with other women.  Sharing your feelings is probably the best way to relieve stress in your life, and I have that now through these women. 

So finally, here is my thank you letter to the women that rock my world.

The first and foremost being my mother.  She has always been a best friend, and now that I am a mother myself, I value her friendship more than I ever imagined possible.  She was also the one to show me how to be a true friend to others.  She takes her friendships seriously and is always there for her loved ones.  She's the friend that has every one's birthday written down so she will never forget to send a card or give a birthday call.  Sweetest shit you'll ever see.  I'm not that good yet, but I hope to be one day.

Next, is Anita.  She's my ride or die chick that will never fail me.  We have too much blackmail on each other to let that happen. :)  She has been there for me even when I was an asshole and didn't deserve it.  I can't believe that the first day of Kindergarten I was blessed to find my soul sister.  No matter how long we don't see each other or talk, every time we finally do, we can always pick up where we left off.  No matter what the circumstance, I know she will be there for me, as I will be there for her.

Now, Melissa, my partner in crime.  She is my sister from another mister.  Seriously, she is like my tall, white, blond, opposite sister. :)  Our careers brought us together, but we get to share so much more.  If I ever need something, I know I can call on her.  We treat each other as family.  She is my confidante and advise giver, especially if I need her to be brutally honest.  She is like the sister I never had, and I hope our children will grow up to be like cousins.

Lindsay.  We went through 4 years of high school together and never even hung out.  After high school, we were brought together by mutual friends.  Am I ever thankful for that.  She allows me to be completely inappropriate and never makes me apologize for my lude behavior.  She just gets me, and doesn't ever judge me for who I am.  Having someone like her has shown me, that no matter how I choose to be, I am worthy of being loved.  Good or bad, I will have someone that lets me be wrong.  She brings out the best in people.  I know she will be neutral and fair and sometimes I need that.  She is my balance.

I have met one woman that has brought an abundance of fabulous women into my life, as well as become a permanent fixture among my heroes. She has shown me how to love myself, as is, no excuses. Iman, has brought forth a part of being a woman I didn't know I even had.  When I found that, I found the way to provide my life with only supportive and positive people and nurture relationships I actually value. No more negativity, frenemies, or wasted energy on bad relationships.  From the moment we met, she treated me like she had known me all her life and brought me into her home with a warmth I had never felt.  Who knew that through Google and the love of pin-up, I would gain such a powerful relationship. 

All of the women I have met through her have been just as amazing as she is.  When you meet them or sit in a room with them, you can just sense the energy from all of these women are at one and it's all thanks to Iman.  We are all aware of our potential.  She has shown us that beauty is not skin deep.  She has provided us the power to reject society's ideal of what women are.  She has dispelled the myth that women can't be real friends.  She has helped us evolve into women that empower each other, not belittle.  There are too many of them I would like to thank in here, but they know who they are.  They have lifted me up with their words.  They have treated me as if we've been friends since way back.  They are all wonderful in their own ways, and I love them for being themselves and allowing me the same comfort in my own skin. 

Thanks to all of you for being there when I need it most.  I believe I will live for a long time thanks to having all of you in my life.  There are no words that could explain the gratitude I have for all of you.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

This is my final disclaimer.

If you haven't learned by now that I will probably say anything and everything that comes to my mind, you aren't learning quick enough.  If you don't like what I have to say, please do us both a favor and remove me from your life.  I don't plan on filtering myself anymore than I already do anytime soon.  I understand that my sense of humor is an acquired taste, but more often than not, I am just being funny because I find myself hysterical and have to share that with the world.  Most people get it!  The others, well...not so much.  That's fine.  I don't yell at anyone on their statuses about how they're doing it wrong (unless you are grammatically incorrect and I'll probably have to delete you before I hurt your feelings lol).  I appreciate what people put out into the world and take what I want from it and leave it at that.  If you disagree with something I say, attacking me from behind a computer won't help.  You're not gonna be able to fix me from there.  Trust me.  If anything, I'll digress and rebel just for the hell of it, and make you hate me more than you thought possible.  True story. 

Life isn't that fucken serious people.  Drama is not what I'm looking for when I write something.  I mostly just want to make people smile or laugh, cause smiling is my favorite. :)  If you get that, we can be friends.  If not, don't let the virtual door hit your uptight ass on the way out.  I'd hate to see that stick shoved up there any further.